Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
