Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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