I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize