my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
