I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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