And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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