i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
