thus making me awesome and them whores
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
