I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
