Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Randomize
