Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize