I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Say something about gay babies.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
