Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
