Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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