I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
it's like iHOP with fire
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize