I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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