I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
