I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize