That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
