I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
