soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
