did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
