All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize