Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
