she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
