the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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