After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
