So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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