roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
