You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
