apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
