I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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