I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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