Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
