there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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