I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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