ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
That's when you crack a 10am beer
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
