It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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