Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
