oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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