Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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