My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
