would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
