his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm always down for nudity.
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