I feel like I'm in dance class right now
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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