exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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