i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
