covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
