I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
