So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
