Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
