"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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