remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
