Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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