It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
