He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
