girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize