Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
