Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Semen is not good for contacts.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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